Casting Off the Old, Revealing the New

(The first photograph is taken by a drone of the largest cave in the world, the second is artwork by Tomasz Alen Kopera)

I am feeling a relief one hour after this New Moon/Solar Eclipse. Yet, it isn't the totality of my experience. As the sun enters Aries later today, marking the start of Spring and for some the start of the Solar Year, I am not artificially expecting myself to enter everything new as if nothing has occurred before. I am starting Spring in the dark magic of the soil, connected to all of the ancient layers and watery realms that live beneath it.

And, I am feeling the new. It's just that after all I've been through-- and we've been through astrologically speaking since June of 2009, through 2012 and until Today-- the way the new shows up for me is not in the form of a child-like wonder. I can't ignore that we've all just been initiated into a new 2,150 year cycle. The depth of spiritual experiences, growing maturity and access to truth has utterly shaped my existence, and in some small way the whole.

Waking up to the new is not necessarily free of a past. or stories. or experiences. or lessons. For me, it is simply rich with an ever deepening presence and awareness of how they are working, the love that is growing from them, the training they offer my consciousness and a deeper connection to the primal experience of being a co-creator of this multidimensional plural-verse. Waking up to the new is embracing that my key task in this life is to fully inhabit my vessel and root into the earth while respecting that it is possible for you to do the same without our differences tearing our hearts apart in illusion.

I am not experiencing this as a time of innocence. However, my only hope is that I stay connected to my innocence while I come into the budding wisdom that lives inside of me. Discrimination, confrontation, integration and reflection must be woven with that innocence so that I can come down from the vision of how the world can be and directly experience it; from there, choose what I really want with thought and action.

This New Moon is in the last degree of Pisces, and the most multidimensional frequency. For the most part, it is beyond human realms of understanding. To talk about it, means we're missing it altogether, but it doesn't really matter because we're already inside of it. This is an example of the stories of separation we're casting off-- the idea that some are getting it and some aren't, and those that 'have it' must help those that don't, or scurry around protecting their 'havingness' as if some external source has the power to take it away.

As we cast off the corpse of the dying world, it is much like being with someone as they are dying and transitioning to the new. It can be filled with an enriched duality. It doesn't invite, but demands us to be with life on its terms, rather than our own. It pushes us like the contractions of a mother's womb loving us into the new, united with the forces of nature. And, while a clear mind is a treasure in these moments, fear, projections and illusions can be heightened in the process of letting go and shaking off the old, dead skin. Sometimes what one being cannot see for themselves the community around them must. Presence serves. The small acts of caring become the evolutionary fuel for the new.

The final Pluto Square Uranus event of seven that took place Monday March 16 is far more powerful and rare than a new moon, solar eclipse and first day of Spring. My experience of these seven squares, is that they work like this:

All the shit I thought I had already dealt with and composted comes flooding into the space in the form of projections, conflict, frustration and repetitive feelings and reactions. It intensifies. And, even if I am tracking closely with it, watching the process as it unfolds, I get hooked. It sucks. I know better, but my ability to show up- present and awake- is still strengthening like a muscle or movement that my body knows how to do but I am struggling to do it in this circumstance.

During the first few squares, I found myself repeating "I can't do this" to myself a lot, wanting to change everything on the outside so that I could be at peace on the inside. However, by the fifth square last April, I began to feel more at ease, reminding myself that this was a 70/30 game, with 70% of the work needing to be done on the inside-- like owning my projections and their subsequent distortions- and about 30% making external shifts-- like getting Mark to do his own laundry and split kitchen duties with me 50/50.

The gift I find following the squares is that life is ultimately so much easier and so much more fluid than the weeks, sometimes months surrounding the square. I find that I am not insane and stuck. I am not being punished for some past life where I really screwed up. My family is not here to crush me and oppress me as a woman. My obsession with vaccines passes and the truth that I discovered through that obsession remains.

And, the fresh -- and-- deep energy of this New Moon/Solar Eclipse and the start of Spring is WELCOMED. As it all comes up, there's nothing better than a fresh breeze to move it through.